torsdag den 4. januar 2018

Life hacks #2

Do you also find social media tiresome and emotionally exhausting? Scroll through the feeds just before bedtime to convince your body to give in quicker to the near-death-experience that is sleep.

Lonely? Aquire a radio. The incessantly blabbering voices will trick your mind into thinking you have company, and you help prolong the unnatural lifespan of an outdated, but culturally significant medium of mass communication.

a well-made blazer will make any outfit look professional.

Rethink your anxiety attacks. Anxiety embraces are ice cold, adrenaline-filled hugs. At least something is touching you, even if it is just your own ultimate failure to function. It's been so long.

Are your current worries eating you up? New, more time-sensitive worries make for the perfect distraction!

for an added spicy touch and to escape the sense that every movement you make is just a part of the repition of an endless pattern of pointless biology, whenever you make love, imagine that the sun is burning out and that the destruction of all life as we know it has begun with the crackling opening of the skies and the screams of fleeing masses running through the city about to be swallowed by the earth. Feel free to share this fantasy with your partner. Secretly, we all want to be chosen last - it's the perfect non-committal romance for the post-obligational society.

Life hacks #1